Dennis Rodman

Two weeks ago, North Korea conducted underground nuclear tests, warning America to end its hostile policy towards the North. There was only one man who would dare take this conflict head on: Dennis Rodman. Rodman has taken matters into his own hands, spending the past few days with North Korean leader Kim Jong Un. What I thought would immediately cause a Third World War has actually left the American public with candid pictures of Rodman and Kim Jong Un enjoying a Harlem Globetrotters game. Perhaps Dennis Rodman has been the solution to North Korean tension all along, as he leaves North Korea with a “new friend for life”.

Rodman’s meteoric rise to the top of American Diplomacy seems far-fetched, but we really should have seen this coming. Rodman is a hard-worker (7 straight seasons as the NBA’s leader in rebound, despite being only 6’7”), and he is a winner (3 seasons in Chicago, 3 NBA Championships).

He is also one of the most polarizing, unintelligent, and unpredictable athletes the world has ever witnessed.

Whether it was his tie-dye hair or his infamous wedding dress, Rodman’s egotistic individualism has most definitely overshadowed his astounding numbers. While this has forever tinged his NBA legacy, it may have left a lasting impression on a young, misunderstood North Korean heir to power. Maybe Rodman was an inspiration for a young Kim Jong Un, shaping his personality during his impressionable adolescent years. Earlier this year, a teenage Kim Jong Un was believed to be pictured wearing a Dennis Rodman Chicago Bulls jersey. While the person in the picture was eventually reported as Kim Jong Un’s brother, Rodman’s influence in the Kim’s household was obviously present.

The crazy part about all of this is that only two other Americans have met with a North Korean leader. Both of those men, Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton, were the President of the United Sates at one point. As the first celebrity to personally met Kim Jong Un, Dennis Rodman’s first impression would be a last impression. It appears that Rodman has set the benchmark high, seemingly unreachable by any other American celebrity. Would Kim Jong Un even respect another American’s presence in his nation? What other American would be able to thoroughly enjoy a Harlem Globetrotters game with the North Korean leader? The answer is clear. Only Dennis Rodman.

I can only imagine what the conversation was like between these two peacemakers. They both live the same lifestyles. Rodman once described life in the NBA as “fifty percent sex… The other fifty percent is money.” Judging by the quality of life in North Korea, it looks like Kim Jong Un applies the same beliefs to government. On a more sensitive sign, Kim Jong Un must really respect the way Rodman handles his superstardom, as Rodman once said, “A player dreams of being a superstar, but he doesn’t want people flocking all over him asking him for an autograph.” Again, these words of wisdom directly apply to Kim’s life as the most important man in North Korea.

 While many view Rodman as insane for meeting with Kim Jong Un, we must look at this from the other perspective as well… Kim Jong Un believed that meeting with Dennis Rodman would ease tension with America. Let that sink in. One of America’s most laughable celebrities is the only person in our country qualified to meet with the North Korea leader. In the end, all we can do is thank Dennis Rodman for not messing up this unique opportunity. As for me, I’m happy Dennis has finally found a true friend.

-Will Noglows

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