Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Beating the Bracket: A Guide to Winning March Madness


March Madness is upon us and I could not be more excited — an exciting, epic, drama-filled 3 weeks that will determine the NCAA Men’s Basketball champion. I feel like it is Christmas but Santa is Jay Bilas.

No matter who you are,  whether you know anything about college basketball, whether you watch every game religiously, you have heard of “The Bracket.” The bracket is singly handily the hardest task to predict. The possibilities are endless. Will this be the year a #16 seed beats a #1? Who will be the sleeper team to reach the Sweet 16? Who are the Davidson’s? Who are the Steph Curry’s? Who are the Virginia Commonwealth’s? Will I need the doctor to check my blood pressure when this tournament is over? All of these questions will run through your mind when filling out your bracket.

Have no fear, Dan is here.

I have some experience with brackets. I did win a pool for a couple hundred dollars, so I have had my share of success. Then again, I was the idiot to pick Missouri to win the National Championship last year. Needless to say, #15 Norfolk State had to ruin my day and my chances of winning $2500 (I am still bitter to this day).

Now there is no right or wrong way to fill out the brackets, but I am going to give you some tips and preferences that might aid you in choosing your selections.

Pick a Team that won their Conference: Contrary to popular belief, Conference Tournaments do matter. They serve as a preview to how teams will play in a bracket-style tournament. I can make the argument that it is actually harder to win your conference than it is to win the NCAA Tournament. In 2011, before winning the title, UConn was the first team ever to win the Big East Tournament after playing for all 5 days. That means Kemba Walker had to endure 40 minutes of hell, win the game, go to sleep, and do it again for 5 straight days. It was truly magical. Since 2000, 9 of the 13 National Champions won their Conference Tournament. Trust the hot teams, they will not let you down.

Avoid an all #1 Seed Final Four: Yes, #1 Seeds are the safest bet. Yes, they will most likely get to the Sweet 16, unless they happen to run into Butler. But for all #1 Seeds to make the Final 4 is almost impossible. It has only happened once (2008), where Kansas beat Memphis in an overtime classic to win the title. Mix it up, add a #2 or #3 seed in there, but beware of #1. They are not always the answer.

Perfection will NEVER Happen: I don’t want to sound like Captain Obvious, but frankly, people forget this lesson. Let me say this loud and clear, YOU WILL NEVER HAVE A PERFECT BRACKET. Let me say that again, YOU WILL NEVER HAVE A PERFECT BRACKET. The odds of a perfect bracket are 9,223,372,036,854,775,808 to 1. You will lose games. Stay positive. If upsets happen, they will happen. Just remember that people in your pool probably had the same picks, so just ride the storm and you will be fine.

 Blue is Beautiful: When it comes to choosing a champion, pick a team that has blue in it. The last 9 champions have had some shade of blue in their uniforms. Now some of you might argue that Florida is mostly orange, but their letters and away uniforms are blue. Sorry fans of Louisville, Indiana, and Michigan State. It is better to be Duke and Gonzaga in March. If you choose blue, you will not feel “blue” when the Final Four rolls around.

Pick the #12 over #5 Upset: Since 1989, a #12 seed has beaten a #5 Seed. It has become a rule, not just a weird coincidence. Something about the 5-12 matchup just screams upset. I have no idea what it is, but #12 seeds just come to play that day. The popular pick seems to be #12 Oregon over #5 Oklahoma State. Frankly, I’m leaning towards that pick. #12 will not let you down (at least once that is).

Fill Out Multiple Brackets: Everyone wants to be the guy to have the winning bracket. If you find yourself in a nationwide pool, I would bet my life savings that the winner filled out multiple brackets. I get it — people want to be admirable and invest all of their wits into one bracket. My advice to you: put the most money (BET RESPONSIBLY) into your “best bracket” or the one you invested the most time in. Then, fill out some other brackets and enter different leagues to increase your chances. I am not saying you will win, but your chances dramatically rise in your favor.

Never Bet Against Tom Izzo: There is something about Tom Izzo and March that just makes sense. Izzo has won 37 tournament games, including the 2000 National Championship. His Michigan State teams have been to six Final Fours since 2000, and has only lost in the first round 3 out of 15 times. The guy flat out knows how to coach in March. Bet against him and he will make you pay.

Do Not Get Upset Happy: Everyone wants to be that guy to say, “Hey, I called that upset!” Yes, that is a great feeling. Picking a first round or even second round upset is more luck than skill, but a feat that can be accomplished. The problem occurs when you want to pick the Butler’s or VCU’s of the tournament. What Butler did a few years ago is undeniably one of the greatest accomplishments in college basketball history. A mid major that reached the National Championship not once, but TWICE, in back to back years????? Unheard of. And honestly, I don’t think it will ever happen again. Be the smart gambler. The #1, #2, and #3 seeds have won 90% of all tournament champions. Don’t be a hero, pick the favorite.

Good Coaching Matters: You always hear the phrase, “Pick them, they’ve been there before.” To a point, this is true. Coaches with previous Final Four experience usually end up in the Final Four. Each of the last five Final Fours has had at least three coaches with previous Final Four experience. In the past 13 years, the 2006 Final Four was the only year to feature only 1 coach with Final Four experience. This is not always a guarantee, but it is likely that Pitino, Krzyzewski, Donovan, Crean, Thompson, Larranaga, Self, Izzo, Matta or Boeheim will end up in New Orleans this year.

When push comes to shove, this tournament is all luck. You can develop math formulas and study countless hours of tape, but there is no statistical answer that can predict the outcome of the game. I will leave you with this story. In 2006, my dad decided to let my 5-year-old sister pick one of his brackets. I instantly laughed at this tactic, but my dad stayed true to his promise. That included picking #14 Northwestern State over #3 Iowa. To refresh your memory, watch this. Yes, 5 year olds can predict NCAA Tournament games.

Remember, have fun with your brackets. I hope you do not lose any sleep over these picks or pull out your hair if a #16 beats a #1 (which it won’t). Happy Bracketology everyone.

Good Luck. You’ll need it.


-Dan Girolamo

Follow Dan @DannyG3242

Follow the Ice Bath team @IceBathReport

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Bracketology: Round 2



           
All great number one seeds have their defining moment. Jackson’s hips have provided us with that moment. And while Rampage was able to literally thrust himself past the first round, the second round will be much more difficult. Luckily, Jackson’s delivery is top notch in this interview. When asked about his acting career, Jackson turns typical responses into captivating insights. Who knew that simple answers such as “right now” and “as we speak” could be spoken so poetically. Personally, I believe Rampage’s voice has a permanent auto tune effect, making his voice just as beautiful as his hypnotic hips. And this all took place within the first 10 seconds of the interview. He utilized the rest of his time perfectly to build up to his signature move, like a true number one seed.
           
While Rampage speaks poetically, Bart Scott lives poetically, dishing out some good old “POETIC JUSTICE” to everyone at ESPN. After mercilessly cutting off the overwhelmed Sal Paolantonio, Scott wastes no time calling out Tom Jackson and Keyshawn Johnson. You may think that Scott would cool of there, soaking in the glory of winning a playoff game against the archrival Patriots. You couldn’t be any more wrong. Within the same breath, Bart transitions to “ANYBODY CAN BE BEAT”. So much rage, so much hatred. So much passion. What more could you ask for? Don’t ask Tom Jackson, Keyshawn, or any other “Non-Believers”.

Winner: The Number One Seed has been bounced, Bart Scott moves on to the Final Four.


Jim Mora starts off his interview with a bang: “Well I’ll start of by saying this…”. I ask myself, what’s he going to say? After sternly stating that the loss shouldn’t be blamed on the defense, Mora spoke words that hit me hard, “I don’t care who you play, even if it’s a high school team…When you turn the ball over 5 times… You ain’t going to beat anybody.” Sadly, and I hate to rain on your ranting parade Jim, but you would have beaten the Red Bank Bucs. I just wanted to make that clear. Very clear. Moving on, after calling Peyton Manning’s performance “pitiful,”one reporter mentions the word “playoffs”. It’s all history from there.

Gronkowski’s bold attempt at speaking Spanish carried him to victory in round one, but he cannot hide behind his cultured language anymore. In Round 2, Gronkowski’s utter unintelligence is revealed. I don’t even know how to describe someone who describes himself as a “fiesta”. But, you have to hand it to Gronk. He recognizes that he possesses a true inability to formulate thoughts in English, so why not try thinking and speaking in Spanish. A truly brilliant idea from a truly simple brain. All I can do is appreciate this truly great interview moment.

Winner: Jim Mora wins in the Elite 8. Gronk reacts to this devastating lost by hitting up the clubs. Truly remarkable.

           
The words Iverson and practice will forever be connected. Iverson asks the question “How the hell can I make my teammates better by practicing?” Well Allen, maybe this explains your lack of championship rings. But beyond that, let’s be fair to The Answer. As a point guard, he is the team facilitator. I mean, just look at his career stats: 26.6 pts, 6.2 assists, 3 rebounds. Beyond the points (Iverson is widely regarded as the best scoring PG, ever) Iverson didn’t do a lot to help his teammates. Allen, you’re up there telling us lies, and we’re still here “Talkin’ Bout Practice”.
           
Mike Singletary speaks the truth. And nothing but the truth. He destroys Vernon Davis in this interview, and deservingly so. Little analysis is needed to see its affect on Davis. Davis ran harder, blocked harder, and played harder after being called out by Singletary. And he wasn’t doing this for himself, but for the guys and coaches around him. Singletary opened Davis’ eyes to his true potential, and Davis’ following phenomenal seasons act as substantial evidence of Singletary’s effect. Case closed.

Winner: Mike Singletary

           
50 Cent has been crowned King of the Cheek Kiss. Not only because of his legendary attempt with Erin Andrews, but because of the fact that this is not the first time 50 has attempted the cheek kiss before. Check this out. 5 kisses in 15 seconds. I don’t even care that nothing has been said about either of the actual interviews. The fact that the man who “Runs New York” can’t land one kiss with either Hilary Swank or Erin Andrews is too awesome.
           
While Denny’s interview is now common knowledge thanks to Coors Light, one part of the interview is routinely overlooked. And that is his exit from the interview. Who knew a man of Denny’s large stature could move so effortlessly and stealthy. One moment he’s behind the mic, the next moment he’s out the door. We know the Bears are what Denny thought they were, but I find myself questioning what Denny really is. One things for certain, with an exit like that, he can’t be human.

Winner: 50 Cent’s encore kissing act is just too much. Denny Green left this tournament, and his podium, too fast.

The Bracket:



Rampage Jackson

Rampage Jackson
Tom Brady




Bart Scott
Bart Scott




Bart Scott


Joe Namath






Mike Gundy




Rob Gronkowski



Rob Gronkowski






Jim Mora


Jim Mora





Jim Mora



Herm Edwards






Jim Everett



Mike Singletary


Mike Singletary






Mike Singletary


Allen Iverson





Allen Iverson



John Tortorella








Denny Green




Denny Green



Kevin Garnett






50 Cent


50 Cent




50 Cent


Terrell Owens











-Will Noglows

Follow Will @WilliamNoglows

Follow the Ice Bath Team @IceBathReport