CC: So Pj, I like the rest of our readers would like wonder the following...where the hell have you been?
PJ: Busy with an even mix of schoolwork and masturbation, but my schedule is freeing up. I apologize for my absence though.
CC: There's a lot of that going around. You happen to be watching the most boring, poorly officiated Monday Night Football game of all time?
PJ: Indeed I am. It's hitting the point where I'm about to mortgage my own home to
contribute to the Pay the Real Fucking Refs Fund.
If a corner breathes on a receiver they'll flag him for pass interference.
CC: Is there room on that train for one more? But you want to know what I miss most?
Ed Hochuli's biceps. Shit! That should have been my fantasy team name!! I blew it.
PJ: Now we know not to take any refs for granted. I would do anything to get these middle school teachers and construction workers off of the field.
CC: I think the announcers should say what the refs do in their other lives. For example...lets go to Johnny Richardson, a McDonalds cashier in Topeka, Kansas, for the call. (In Jon Gruden's voice of course)
PJ: That would be great. In other news though, this game tonight seems symbolic of Matt Ryan taking Peyton's place in the group of elite quarterbacks.
CC: I am going to be perfectly honest. This game just hasn't grabbed my attention and I have been barely watching. But I do get that sense that this is Matt Ryan's season. While we are on elite quarterbacks...Tom Brady...the New England Patriots...losing to the Arizona Cardials??? At home??
PJ: They aren't the same Patriots. I don't where the hell Wes Welker has been. One of the best weapons in the league and he's not even starting.
CC: I get the sense that this is the beginning of the end of the Welker-Patriots marriage. The Aaron Hernandez injury is a real stinger too.
Moving on...how good are these 49ers?
PJ: Very good. Defense is top 3 I can remember.
Still don't like them to win the NFC. This is still a quarterbacks league and while Alex Smith doesn't suck anymore he isn't near the top class.
CC: I can't disagree with that logic. I just have this memory stuck to my head of the entire unit making Aaron Rodgers looking like a mediocre quarterback. NFC favorites in my mind.
O, and I am thinking of ordering a Justin Tryon jersey. Do you think I should go blue or white?
PJ: Don't even get me started. Eli Manning absolutely bailed out a god awful secondary performance.
If we don't make some kind of move soon we are going to get burnt.
CC: You know when the Tampa Bay Buccaneers score 34 points, there are major problems.
I also really appreciated half of the Giants fan base abandoning Eli Manning in the first half, a two time Super Bowl champ if I may add.
PJ: I just don't pay attention to those "fans" anymore.
Eli is a stud, and that won't change for years.
CC: Couldn't agree more. In an era where I would rather watch a turtle crawl from the beach into the water instead of the Mets, Manning is probably my favorite athlete in sports right now.
PJ: Same with me. Cruz and Nicks also looked uncoverable. All of those Cruz haters from last week look like dumbasses too.
CC: Maybe the best WR combo in the league. 1-2 in receiving yards through 2 weeks. Alright winding down here (I'm exhausted), would you like to give our readers a monologue on your fantasy season through the first two weeks?
If you don't, I understand.
PJ: I will only if you go fuck yourself.
CC: You mean my 2-0 record!!
PJ: Well I invested a first round pick in Chris Johnson who has less rushing yards than Brandon Weeden (I'm not kidding). But I'm still optimistic. I spent an early pick on Ryan Mathews who will help a shit ton, and I'm confident that the Pats will wake up and throw Welker the ball more.
CC: I am just going to continue to soak in the satisfaction I get from watching "The Great One" fail.
CC: On that note...good night?
PJ: Sure. My bedtime is approaching as well.
Make sure you follow @IceBathReport on Twitter.
Also, follow Chris @ChrisCollins127 and PJ @PEEJ9493
No comments:
Post a Comment